Yes, it’s time for another one of our patented silly concept mobile phones. We’ve had the Starbucks mobile phone, which sobers you up (coffee, you see), so it’s time for one that gets you really, really, really, really, really, really, mindlessly drunk.
Yep, it’s time for the Carlsberg Special Brew Mobile Phone, also known as the “Carlsber’ Spessshil Breeurgh” (named after the standard speech patterns of its users).
Designed as to be one of the cheapest, most potent mobile phones in existence, the Spessshil Breeurgh is designed for the connoisseur, for people who knows mobile phones, who know what they want, and are hardy, strong people. However, who it’s actually sold to is winos on park-benches, and the person who sits behind you on the bus every damn morning, whose breath can crinkle paint.
Unknown to most people (those unable to take the exceptional strength of the Spessshil Breeurgh mobile phone, which has a SAR rating of 9.0% ABV), there is even an official method of answering your phone, which is simply:
“Raaarararararrrrreek, numinuminumi, BREEELLO!”
The Carlsber’ Spessshil Breeurgh will be available sim-free for the price of 37p, and is delivered in a brown paper bag. Usage should be easy enough, as the keypad is big enough to be easily used by people drunk enough to see 3 phones.
Rumours that other mobile phones manufacturers will be jumping on the bandwagon cannot be confirmed, but expect to see the Samsung Blue Nun very soon…
Technical Markus tried Special Brew once. When he had got his eyesight back, and had said “Ye gods, that’s strong!!” he promptly never, ever drank again. Leave us a comment and have your say (even if it’s just to say you are a Special Brew survivor)!
March 23rd, 2008 at 8:40 pm
BAN THE BREW dont get me started oh! soz i dont drink it any more, still makes me angry, its to strong, its a killer.