Since it’s a Friday afternoon, I thought we’d have a little bit of fun, with a blog post that has no merit whatsoever, but which should give you a laugh at our expense. So, for your reading pleasure, I present the results of our not-in-any-way-useful survey: who in Mobileshop has the worst ringtone on their mobile phone? Who has the ringtone that most makes their co-workers want to smash their head in with a brick?
However, this test needed to be about more than me slagging off people’s ringtones based on my personal opinions. It needed to be scientific, taking in variables such as what mobile phones people are using, the cadence of the song, the hidden meanings…
However, I then decided that was too taxing, and decided to judge it by slagging off other people’s ringtones. This was based on two important principles: 1/ I actually am a musician, so I know about these things; and 2/ I’m writing this blog, so I win.
There are, however, two important criteria:
First, standard manufacturer or network ringtones don’t count, which is why you don’t see people like Dan on this list. Only people who’ve gone to the trouble of putting a song as their ringtone are fair game for me ripping them to shreds about it, since using standard ringtones on your mobile phone is just lazy…
Secondly, anyone who has the Crazy Frog as their ringtone will be subject to summary execution…
So, let’s take a look at the run-down of the top tunes appearing on our mobile phones!
The Poet And The Pendulum – Nightwish
Native New Yorker – Odyssey
Bring Me To Life – Evanescence
Big Girls – Mika
Now You’re Gone – Bass Hunter
The Race Around The World – Castle Crashers Soundtrack
Theme to Spongebob Squarepants – Erm, some bloke
Well, with those contestants, it’s time to analyse them, and work out which is… you know what, there’s no point is there, Spongebob Squarepants is gonna win. I mean come on, I may hate Mika, but it can’t compare to some porous yellow freak who lives in a pineapple under the sea. And so, with the theme to Spongebob Squarepants, the winner of the “whose mobile phone has the worst ringtone” challenge… has unsurprisingly elected to remain anonymous, since she’s 41 and has Spongebob on her phone. I shall call her, simply, Nemesis.
However, I reckon I may be able to top that sea-sponge-based lunacy. I reckon I’ve found the absolute perfect stupid, annoying ringtone. And rest assured if and when I get my Sony Ericsson X1, it shall be set up to play Bohemian Polka by the incomparable Weird Al Yankovic (set here to the original video):
Oh, and incidentally, if anyone guesses which one of the songs above is my actual current ringtone, then leave us a comment. The first correct guess gets a virtual Jaffa Cake.
Grab the exquisite Sony Ericsson X1 today! Stupid ringtones not mandatory!
