Well, we’re trundling on towards the summer, and amongst other things, that means it’ll soon be time for Glastonbury again. Every year the young and the old, the trendy and the tasteless all gather together to join in this festival of music. Although I won’t be there, because I’m more at home somewhere like Ozzfest, or at Monsters Of Rock (flashback for anyone who’s ever been to Donnington Park), where security was handled by a Hell’s Angel with a 14lb lump hammer…
It’s entirely possible that not many people realise that Glastonbury’s actually sponsored by Orange, since, to be honest, I didn’t know that.
But sponsor it they do, which means there’s going to be some ties with mobile phones. In past years they’ve had the Charging Truck, a truck that could charge 50 mobile phones at a time, and last year, the portable Wind Charger that you stuck on top of your tent (another reason I won’t go to Glastonbury… can’t stand tents…)
Well, this year, according to Pocket-Lint, they’re going to be trialling kinetic energy charging for your mobile phone. Or, as we predicted here (complete with picture of jiggly Bluetooth headset), shaking your phone about to charge it. The theory’s simple: as you dance about, you produce energy, which is then used to charge your mobile phone up. It’s a (nearly) revolutionary idea.
I can see a few potential problems, not least of which is the fact that at every gig I’ve been to, the door security confiscate anything that even looks like it could be recording equipment (yes, even mobile phones without cameras). So, they’ll probably want to take your phone off you, so you never get to charge it (or, as happened to my mate, you say no, and they beat you to a pulp).
Incidentally, this happens because the average door security operative (especially at the last Dream Theater gig I went to) is one step away from amoebas, in terms of intelligence. And it’s not a step in the right direction, either…
All of that is, of course, on top of the fact that the average Glastonbury-goer is 1) covered in mud, 2) stoned off their face, or 3) a hippy. Their mobile phones are powered by pixies, anyway. Well, at least until they get home and realise they’ve bought a rock with a hole in it (which makes it magic, obviously), a native money pouch and a bit of rice with their name on.*
Still, if they can figure out which of the four LG Secret KF750’s they can see to plug the charger into, it should work wonders!
*Thanks to Terry Pratchett and Bill Bailey for inspiring this list.
Planning on going to Glastonbury this year? Taking your mobile phone to try out the mega-happy-bangin’-dance-o-charger? Leave us a comment and have your say!
