Retro-ise the hell out of your Nokia N97 with the Cityman 450

Retro up your Nokia N97 with the City Man 450Ahhhhh, there’s nothing quite like stupid phone accessories to raise a smile. Things that, let’s be honest, serve no practical purpose whatsoever (despite what they say on the box), and which are sheer lunacy.

Well now, according to All About Symbian, the Nokia N97′s got a stupid accessory all of its own, and boy is it a doozy! Yep, it’s the Cityman 450, and what it actually is is a massive housing you stick your Nokia N97 into, to pretend it’s a phone from 1987.

Sheer. Bleedin’. Genius.

Not only is it accurately modelled on the original 1987 Nokia Cityman, but it also comes with a URL that you put into the browser on your Nokia N97, which lets you download an app that properly, accurately simulates the front panel and keypad of the original Cityman. You too can completely forego your address book, and have the privilege of having to dial in every single number by hand.

Now, you may well be asking what the point of the Cityman 450 is, and you’d be perfectly justified in asking that. But, it turns out, the makers have come up with the single most ludicrously awesome justification for using it I’ve ever seen. It’s an anti-theft device, designed to protect your Nokia N97 from wrongdoers, ‘cos, really, who’s gonna want to nick a phone from 1987?

However, we now come to the pièce de résistance, my absolute favourite part of the whole package, the tagline. It’s a simple one, too: “Say goodbye to pickpockets!”

I can’t help but widdle myself laughing, because that tagline assumes you could even fit the Cityman 450 near a ‘pocket’, for it to be ‘picked’. What the tagline should say is: “Say goodbye to pockets, say hello to a whackin’ great attaché case and chronic arm-ache!”

Genius. Sheer, unadulterated, pointless, daft, twisted, mental genius. This is the high point of human endeavour, as far as I’m concerned; everything else, from now on, is just killing time until we go extinct and the crabs replace us…

Do you have a Nokia N97? Would you consider getting the Cityman 450, even just for giggles? Leave us a comment and have your say!

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About TechnicalMarkus

It's a little known fact Technical Markus has now beaten both his Transformers addiction AND his Mass Effect addiction, by replacing both with an equally obsessive addiction to XCOM: Enemy Unknown and buying Humble Bundles for his Android phone. At the moment, he's pondering the actual usefulness of smartwatches and smart glasses, even if the nerd in him is shouting for joy at how sci-fi they are. He spends his spare time being whinged at to figure out what's wrong with other people's mobile phones, and drinking unimaginable quantities of tea. With milk. And three sweeteners, thanks for asking. Oh, and he's got an HTC One X, but he reckons his next phone might be a Sony, the turncoat...

2 thoughts on “Retro-ise the hell out of your Nokia N97 with the Cityman 450

  1. Nico Nicsonian

    I want a cityman. The 80′s is all the rage at the minute and I can definitely see myself Dom Jolly style at work. The security aspect is a positive that I would never have thought of! My N97 will never look the same…Great work! :0)

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