Kyocera Honey Bee – the fastest phone EVER, but ye gods, it’s ugly!

There’s a very common misconception, all round the world, that the Japanese are mental. They’re not, of course. they just have a cultural heritage and a set of social customs that’s very different to Western nations like the UK, or the USA, or Germany, for example. However, what I will say is this: while they are very definitely not mental, they’re really not helping anyone to dispel that notion.

Case in point: Pokemon. Second case in point: the Kyocera Honey Bee. Only in Japan would you get a company making the fastest phone ever, and then putting it in a body designed to be hated by the very demographic (phone nerds like me) who loves super-fast phones… 

I mean look at it. It’s hideous. It’s also, unfortunately, got the fastest graphics processor of any phone on the market, ‘cos it’s got two of the GPU chips that you find inside the Apple A5 processor (itself found in the iPhone 4S), and they’re clocked to be faster than on any other phone out there. And yes, it’s even faster than the Geforce GPU found in the HTC One X. Insane, but true.

However, I still live in hope, because now that it’s been done once, it means that another phone may come out with the same chipset, and hopefully it’ll be a phone that doesn’t look like a dog’s dinner.

One that isn’t covered in glitter, and that isn’t advertised by a small Japanese lass dressed up as every manga schoolgirl character ever.

We live in hope, right?

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About TechnicalMarkus

It's a little known fact Technical Markus has now beaten both his Transformers addiction AND his Mass Effect addiction, by replacing both with an equally obsessive addiction to XCOM: Enemy Unknown and buying Humble Bundles for his Android phone. At the moment, he's pondering the actual usefulness of smartwatches and smart glasses, even if the nerd in him is shouting for joy at how sci-fi they are. He spends his spare time being whinged at to figure out what's wrong with other people's mobile phones, and drinking unimaginable quantities of tea. With milk. And three sweeteners, thanks for asking. Oh, and he's got an HTC One X, but he reckons his next phone might be a Sony, the turncoat...