Mobile Phone News:

I’m sure you’ve all been watching The Apprentice recently on BBC with the legendary Sir Alan Sugar. I notice the Nokia N95 seems to be the communications device of choice on this great show, or is there a hidden sponsorship deal…

Anyway, I’ve been putting some thought into other devices that might have aided our hapless berks on their way to another seven days of servitude for loveable Alan…

Our first remedial student, the artist/property developer/trainee barrister Nicholas De Lacy Brown, really could have done with a good internet camera phone to aid him on his most arduous task of pricing fish up… The Sony Ericsson K850i surely would have been equal to this task with its fast internet connection, dark complexion and battery life that will last longer than a bucket of shellfish on ice. Then again, even the best phone in the world needs a human being with a brain to operate it…

Admittedly you’d have thought a trainee barrister would have been able to handle this simple task. I can barely spell ‘lawsuit’ but even I’ve just had the masterful idea of typing ‘price of lobster’ into the little-known search engine Google. Two clicks later and I have a full price list with some pesky lobsters prices – such gumption might just have saved my job this week had I been involves in this shambles of sales and marketing.

Not sure about you, but I wouldn’t trust this guy to get me off a parking ticket never mind a crown court trial (not that I have any forthcoming, other than possible libel issues for this article/rant) To be fair with his double barrel surname he has enough letters in his title already which is handy, as after watching this show he’s destined not to add anymore..

On to this week’s screening – now this was an outrage. They got the wrong person! Or did they?

Shazia Wahab seemed organised at first, but then was blamed for leaving the wash house early to grab the iron from the flat, unaware that the boys has nicked it hours earlier! Her system seemed to fall apart at this stage which tells me there was a communication error to say the very least.

Which phone could have helped our evictee with this most complex of tasks? I feel this is a job for a pad and a pen, or maybe coloured ribbons with safety pins? I always did think out of the box though, my ‘google’ solution to last week’s problem demonstrates this… (see above)

I think any organiser phone would have saved her from doom! The HTC TyTn II has an exceptional camera, great for sorting the whites from the colours so there’d be no discrepancies, MSN Messenger would have kept her in touch during the taxi journey home and the WiFi would have helped her to get some realistic prices from the internet to help the team and ultimately save the utter humiliation when quoting the hotel boss 5 grand for a 200 quid job! (Did you see his face?)

So that’s the first two candidates dealt with. Who’s going to get the bullet next week? I’m not sure how this week’s bully Jenny Celerier will cope with being told what to do and I have serious doubts about Lindi Mngaza’s limited intellect going unnoticed for much longer. We’ll have to see!

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