Mobile Phone News:

Disclaimer: The views in this blog post are the views of Technical Markus only, and do not necessarily reflect MobileShop.com’s views.

You may have heard about this, but in the last few days, there’s been a ruling from the Advertising Standards Authority forbidding top tier mobile phone manufacturer LG from showing the advert for the LG Venus in the UK. And why was it banned? Because the woman in the advert, at one point, appears to be using a mobile phone in her car.

Now, I was going to do a fair, even-handed and neutral commentary about the whole issue, weighing up the factors in the case of both LG and the ‘public’ viewpoint. But then, I remembered how many people the Guardian said had complained about the advert, and realised that the word ‘public’ isn’t quite right…

Would you like to know how many people complained?

33.

Yep, 33 people out of 60-odd million people in the UK complained about the LG advert. That’s a staggering 0.00000055% of the population. Or, as I like to put it, 0.00000055% of the population have trouble differentiating fantasy from reality…

In their words, they say that LG are encouraging ‘dangerous behaviour’ by condoning people using their mobile phones in the car. Despite the fact she is not actually clearly shown holding a phone in the car (or if she is, it’s for approximately half a nano-milli-pico-second), they complained that the fact it had a shot of her holding a mobile phone (with a completely different backdrop, mind you, that looks NOTHING like the street set the car was parked on) in between shots of her in the car, means that people will follow suit and use their mobile phones in the car, presumably triggering some sort of car/phone-based Apocalypse.

Don’t believe me about how long she was holding the phone for? Check out the video itself (sorry about it being in Dutch, but, you know, the English one’s banned………………)

See? Fraction of a second, if that!

I can’t help but wonder how these people think we survive every day, when the evil TV is beaming such mind-altering images into our brains. I’m just surprised no-one complained about the scantily-clad woman cavorting about in the ad. I can remember a time when it was semi-nakedity on telly that would corrupt us, and make us all into ravening monsters (anyone old enough to remember Mary Whitehouse’s diatribes against TV will know what I mean). Seems it’s not ‘filth’ any more, but health and safety that the do-gooders think we can’t understand and deal with ourselves.

Now, the fact is, I don’t think people should use their mobile phones while they’re in the car. That’s one law I can agree with. But by the same token, how dare these small-minded people think that the other people, like me, can’t think for themselves?! Do they really think if we see an advert for mobile phones, with a car in it, that we’ll go and mow down an entire school playground?

Perhaps they also think that watching an advert for Fanta will make people start spitting in the street? But, oh wait, they banned that one, too, so you can’t watch it any more.

In conclusion then, I am deeply offended by the complainants’ obvious disregard for my, your, and indeed the vast majority of the population’s critical abilities. And let’s not forget… IT’S AN ADVERT THAT LASTS ALL OF 20 SECONDS. THIS IS NOT ‘CITIZEN KANE’ WE’RE TALKING HERE!

So, my message to the complainers: lighten up, let your hair down and for heaven’s sake have some fun, because life’s too short! Or, as the philosopher puts it: do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight…

Do you think the advert should’ve been banned? Or do you think it’s all a storm in a teacup, and people need to lighten up? Either way, leave us a comment and have your say!

Has anyone noticed the cleverly worded adverts that appear to offer things like mobile games, ringtones and wallpapers for ‘free’, only to sting you with some indecipherable small print after you’ve signed up?

Well I have been caught out by something similar. I’m not 100% sure how it’s come about, but I’ve got a pretty good idea, and I’m quite cross. So I thought I’d warn you, as you may be getting ripped off in a similar fashion.

The last few months, I received two messages a week; the first was a little enticer - it said something along the lines of “answer the question in the following message correctly to be entered in to a prize draw to win a Wii / Apple iPhone / LCD TV” etc etc. basically dangling a carrot in front of your nose to generate interest and get people to reply. Then the second message would come through with the question and three possible answers. Now, I didn’t fall for this (as such) because the questions were so darn easy that the chances of winning were like a million to one! (And with Google etc you stood a pretty low chance of winning anyway, even if the question had been tricky!)

Anyway, I was getting these messages quite a lot, but I would simply delete them as soon as they arrived. I remember thinking “Ooo, a text message! Who’s this from? Oh… 81121″ and this feeling of disappointment would swoop over as I found it wasn’t a message from a friend haha. But one day I actually read one of the messages and the opening line was, and I quote: “FREE MESSAGE” and for some reason, that I really can’t put my finger on I immediately thought “Hmmmmmmm”. I got straight on the phone to my network operator and explained the story. She got my details up on screen and her reply was, again, I quote “Oh dear, you’re getting ripped off there Miss!”

It turns out these “free” messages were actually charging me! Despite me not doing anything with them other than deleting them!! In one month, I’d received EIGHT text messages and had been charge £6.00!! I was furious! The assistant was fantastic and advised me on what to do, which was to simply text the word “STOP” to the number. And like magic, they stopped. But even so, over the months I’d been receiving these messages I’d lost out on £15.00!!

The assistant and I got chatting and it turns out that my number may have been stored, after texting in to a TV show to vote for my favourite person to win. Now, I can’t say exactly which is one because I don’t want to point my finger and accuse wrongly but things such as reality TV shows are a classic example. Granted, this sort of thing has been going on for a long time, since certain shows were fined for still charging people for entering competitions etc after the closing times, but you don’t necessarily realise that you are a victim of it. Despite this being the case, industry regulator PhonepayPlus (the watchdog formerly known as ICSTIS) has only recently announced that it’ll be keeping a sharper eye on services.

I did a little scouting round the internet and according to The Register problems with this kind of complaint seem to have arisen from companies clearly breaking rules, for not ‘outlining clear and accurate pricing and honest advertising’, for which penalties have already been imposed in 2008. A formal review is underway that will look at how to deal with unsolicited texts and the wanton use of the word ‘free’.

According to The Register, teenagers are by far the largest target audience for these sorts of promotions, so you may want to have a little chat with kiddiewinks who have a mobile phone of their own and just advise them that there is a chance they are actually being charged for services they believe to be ‘free’.

So my advice to you is, anything that you think is suspicious and not as legit as it wants to claim, investigate with your network operator. You could be losing out on money too that you really didn’t want to give away to some sneaky company who want to cash in your vote. If you are texting for ‘free’ ringtones etc, just check the print, because you will more than likely find that you are being charged for every message you receive. It borders on exploitation if you are apathetic towards or unaware of the sorts of hidden costs you might encounter, and I’d hate to put a figure on how much they’ve managed to scam along the way…. I bet it’s along the lines of millions though!

Let me know your thoughts or share stories with us.

Yep, it’s time for a rant. I’ve not done any recently, as I’ve been a happy human being, and generally avoiding people who will stress me out. But on the way into work, this morning, something happened that made me angry and vitriolic enough to spit lacework into steel.

Somebody, using their phone illegally in their car, nearly killed me!

I mean fair play, some people might need to make a call while they’re driving. Their mother might be in hospital sick, or something. I’ll concede it might be important to have your phone on while driving.

But if it matters that much, buy a Bluetooth headset! And don’t break a law designed to stop people like you killing people like me.

And another thing, while we’re on the subject of using your phone inappropriately, I witnessed something else this week. We’ve all, I would imagine, seen those Orange adverts telling people to switch their phones off during the film. You know the ones, like this:

If even one of the networks tells you not to use your phone, then you can probably tell it’s not the place to use a phone.

So why in the name of all that’s holy did this one guy sat 3 rows down from me not only have his phone turned on, on the loudest setting known to man, but he only went and answered it and proceeded to have a conversation halfway through the film!

However, there’s a lighter end to this particular story (funnier from my point of view, anyway). Because, after he refused to respond to our polite requests to turn it off, a big guy who was easily as wide across his shoulders as he was tall took the phone out his hand, and pitched hard at the wall.

Unsurprisingly, the ignorant guy who’d taken the call didn’t answer back to big, burly, scary man…

Which leads me to my conclusion: cinemas should employ big, burly, scary men to beat up miscreants. [There are exceptions, of course. If you’re, like, a volunteer fireman, or a First Responder, both groups I have an infinite amount of respect for, because they do GOOD work, then you’re alowed to have your phones on. You have a legitimate reason to keep it turned on.] And if I see you using your phone while you’re driving, without a Bluetooth headset, there shall be trouble.

Agree with Technical Markus? Should people who use their phone illegally or completely inconsiderately be punished by society in really nasty ways? Or do you think he’s overreacting? Either way, leave us a comment, and have your say!

You see all these adverts on telly, telling people not to use their phones in public, not to get it out their pockets. Well, if you’re going to live like that, what the bloody hell’s the point in even having a mobile phone? They’re a communications tool, but scumbags like the ones I saw on the street this morning are making it scarier for people wanting to use their phones!

The thing is, the annoying fact is, that according to a Prime Ministerial briefing earlier in the year, over 50% of street robberies involved mobile phones. Now the thing is, when a phone gets nicked and reported, it gets blacklisted across every network. Which completely stuffs it for being used at all.

So, what’s the point in even nicking it in the first place?? Quite apart from being immoral, wrong, causing misery to others, and being downright low, it’s completely stupid and pointless!

Not that that would stop a chav from doing it.

Personally, I still think a real-life transforming phone with chainguns on it is the best deterrent. Or a fire-axe… Or, if you’re after a more realistic solution, how about doing what they do with bank notes? A small explosive charge within the phone, to destroy the innards of it, if it gets nicked?

[EDIT: Dammit, I thought I’D come up with that idea, but I’ve been beaten to it be someone on Youtube. Still a very good idea, though (although I’m not sure he’s right about the phone still being usable). See his video presentation below:

And another thing, while we’re on the subject of pointlessness; who the hell started the “happy-slapping” trend? I mean, come on, what moron came up with that bright idea?! You video yourself with your phone, slapping someone, and stick it on Youtube. Ok… why? And more, importantly, why aren’t you in school, chavling?? Learn to read a book once in a while, then you won’t have to follow your dad into the family business of getting a giro every fortnight…

And if you happy-slap me, you’ll find I’ve invented a new craze, that I’d be happy to show you. It’s called happy-knocking-your-teeth-out-with-a-cricket-bat…