However, today really is its toughest challenge yet, because today, the iPhone is going up against a completely unprecedented phone, one that’s brand new from head to toe, that’s been newly designed from the ground up; everything from the design, to the touchscreen, to the software inside it is absolutely new, and never-before-seen. And quite frankly, it’s an astonishing mobile phone, that looks and feels as if dropped in from Mars. Ladies and gentlemen, taking on the iPhone today is the one, the only, the mighty… Palm Pre!

1. How useful is it for doing actual work on?

At the minute, it’s a bit of an unknown as to whether there’ll be document viewers and office software on the version of the Palm pre that we get, but to be honest, given how easy they’ve said it is to create apps for it, you just know there will be after release, if it doesn’t get them preinstalled. Of course, on top of that, it’s got push email, it’s ludicrously fast, and it has that full QWERTY keyboard, which instantly makes any phone win in this round. So, winner: Palm Pre!

Winner: Palm Pre

2. How good is the phone for mucking around and not doing any work on?

Ooh, a tough one to call, as this is something the iPhone does so well. The truth is, though, with the ease of creating apps for the Palm Pre, you just know its app store will rival the iPhone’s. And with full Facebook integration, not just within an app, but throughout the whole operating system, it will be the king of farting about! Plus, QWERTY keyboard again, and instant messaging. Need I say more? Win, Palm Pre…

Winner: Palm Pre

3. How many opportunities for showing off to my mates will the phone give me?

Ooh, another area where the iPhone always does well. That glass screen, the downloaded games, the sleek touch interface. Well, the Palm Pre can do all that, and if anything, the interface is even flashier than the iPhone, with finger swipes and gesture controls extending beyond the screen itself. Say that out loud: the screen actually extends beyond the screen. If that’s not a massive talking point for your mates, I don’t know what is. And you can show off the serious stuff, too, where it mullers the iPhone. I do believe, ladies and gentlemen that the iPhone’s been beaten at its own game, finally!

Winner: Palm Pre

4. How easy is it to use the phone to cheat at pub quizzes?

Both phones have superbly fast internet access, both have a full web browser, and both have that pinchy motion to zoom in and out on web pages (which Apple fans call illegal, and an evil conspiracy to corrupt the purity of the iPhone, and I call bleedin’ funny). To be honest, though, the QWERTY keyboard alone would be enough to give the Palm Pre the win, but unbelievably, it doesn’t stop there, because it just lets you type something with the keyboard (without even getting onto the internet first), and then it Googles it for you. As cheating goes, that’s by far the most efficient method I’ve ever seen, even topping the other best QWERTY phone on our list, the Nokia N97, and because of that, the Palm Pre easily wins this round!

Winner: Palm Pre

5. How good will I feel using it, and how GOOD will I look using it?

Here we go… the last round of the last fight in the iPhone Killers series… Can the iPhone pull a last minute victory out of the bag so it’s not a total whitewash, or is the Palm Pre going to beat it to death with a hammer…?

No. It cant. Because the Palm Pre outdoes the iPhone at its own game, being both flashier, slicker, more fluid in the interface and more intuitive to use. It’s just nicer in every conceivable way, and you’ve got the added bonus that people also won’t look at you and instantly think you’re a smug git…

Winner: Palm Pre

And the winner is…

Oooooooooh, it’s had some defeats before, but that is possibly the most savage beating I’ve ever seen a phone given. the Palm Pre has literally killed the iPhone. It’s now lying in a heap of a few component parts, with a lone ‘home’ button lying forlornly next to a cracked glass screen, as the Palm Pre gleefully relieves itself over the iPhone in every single way possible. And that leaves me in a quandary, because, as you know, our scoring system is “competitor score divided by iPhone score times 100“. And the iPhone didn’t win any rounds. Which means I’m having to divide by zero. Which isn’t actually physically possible, and threatens to tear the universe a new spacehole.

Maybe best just call it infinity, since that’s not a real number, but is the biggest of the numbers that don’t really exist. But still, here’s our final league table, and the Palm Pre has firmly mullered the iPhone!

So, there you have it folks! At a stunning INFINITY% as good as the iPhone, the Palm Pre has come out victorious, and holds its rightful title as the ultimate iPhone Killer!

So, now, it’s time for it to step back into the ring against a real competitor, once more, and this time, it’s going up against a heavyweight, a phone that a lot of people were waiting for with baited breath, before its release. It’s the first touchscreen phone ever to wear a fruit-based badge, and it has an innovative touchscreen that no other phone in the world has; it has to be the tempestuous Blackberry Storm!

Let’s see how the Cupertino Kid gets on against the Email Master. As they say in Terminator, there’s a storm coming…

1. How useful is it for doing actual work on?

Hmm, let’s see; document viewer, full internet access, a multitouch screen, and email. Nope, that’s not the iPhone I’m describing, that’s the Blackberry Storm. The iPhone’s on the ropes right from the start, but there’s one more thing the Storm has going it for, and it’s something the iPhone just cannot counter: Blackberry-stylee instant email. There’s a reason why Blackberry mobile phones have always held sway in the business, and that, right there, is it. Combine that with the moving screen, to give the feeling of typing on a real keyboard, and there’s no contest. The Storm takes this round!

Winner: Blackberry Storm

2. How good is the phone for mucking around and not doing any work on?

Now this one’s a bit tougher to call, although on the face of it, the iPhone has the edge. The Blackberry Storm, ain’t no slouch, though, with full internet access, instant messaging clients and extra things like Facebook apps giving it a fighting chance, along with superb video playback. It’s a hard-fought battle, but there’s one category where the iPhone has the edge, and that’s with gaming (which is, let’s be honest, superb. No other phone platform has a full 3D version of Metal Gear Solid on the way). Since they’re so evenly matched in most ways, that gaming skill gives the iPhone the win.

Winner: iPhone

3. How many opportunities for showing off to my mates will the phone give me?

We’ve been here several times before, but the iPhone is inherently better at tomfoolery, and that always seems to be what people warm to the most. The Blackberry Storm is a beautiful looking phone, and it works really well, but the fact is, people are going to be more impressed by the stupid bits on the iPhone than they are by the fact you can get instant emails anywhere. By that logic, the iPhone has to be the winner.

Winner: iPhone

4. How easy is it to use the phone to cheat at pub quizzes?

Let’s see, both phones have full internet access, both have fast connections, but both have onscreen keyboards. Theoretically, the Blackberry Storm and the iPhone are about as fast as each other to return an answer to the question you were cheating on. However, by sheer dint of the fact it’s QWERTY keyboard, in landscape mode, is vastly bigger, the Blackberry Storm takes the win.

Winner: Blackberry Storm

5. How good will I feel using it, and how GOOD will I look using it?

Here we go, the last round, and it’s neck and neck, so far. So, which phone is going to win the day? Well, the iPhone has, if I’m honest, the better interface. Don’t get me wrong, the one on the Blackberry Storm is superb, but its greatest innovation is its most crippling flaw. That moving touchscreen is a brilliant innovation, and really makes it feel like you’re pressing a button to access a menu, or type something. The problem is, though, that it takes so much force to press down, your thumbs will be killing after prolonged use. On the flip side, though, when it comes to other people’s perceptions, compare the reaction when people see the iPhone (ooh, look, how smug is he) to the Storm (ooh, look, shiny), and you can see the Storm comes off best. So, unbelievably, the last round, when the rounds are already tied, comes out as another tie!

Winner: Draw!

And the winner is…

Well, I never expected that! Ladies and gentlemen, we have our first overall draw, with both phones coming out as good as each other. Awww, ain’t that sweet! In a hippy peace and love kind of way, the Blackberry Storm and the iPhone have come out as equals. Of course, that probably means they’d both get mullered by something like the HTC Touch HD, but hey…

Join us for the next incredible instalment, where the iPhone faces its final challenge, and rest assured, this one will be its toughest challenge ever; in its final battle, it’s going up against a phone specifically designed to be the ultimate iPhone Killer. Yes, folks, it’s taking on the astonishing Palm Pre… Subscribe today, to make sure you don’t miss out on any of the action as the iPhone Killers go to war!

So, can it pull things back today? In the first of a double bill, today, the Cupertino Kid is going up against a new phone that its parent company has some rather high hopes for, since it might be the phone that signals life or death for them. Yup, it’s the phone that everyone in the boardroom of said company (and if you haven’t worked out who yet, shame on you) is surely hoping makes it big, so they don’t go down the toilet: the Motorola MotoSurf A3100.

1. How useful is it for doing actual work on?

There’s no doubt that Windows Mobile is by far a better operating system to use for business-y work type stuff. You get Office preinstalled as standard in it, there’s a wealth of extra productivity software available and the ease of syncing up to a PC and an email exchange server is unquestionable (I speak from experience here). But, one has to consider the Motorola MotoSurf A3100 as a whole phone, here, and unfortunately… it doesn’t fair too well. The screen is piddlingly small, at only 2.8 inches (the smallest one in our whole series of challengers) and there’s no physical keyboard, so typing on it’s going to be an utter pig. It may have the better software, but the hardware ruins things. It’s like the Nokia N97 and Nokia 5800. For work, the N97’s always the better choice because it has a keyboard, but the 5800 can get away with it, because it has a whopping great screen. The Motorola doesn’t, so, win for the iPhone, I’m afraid…

Winner: iPhone

2. How good is the phone for mucking around and not doing any work on?

Well, you can download games onto the MotoSurf A3100, you can get instant messaging programs, and you can watch movies. The problem is, once again, the screen’s too chuffing small! Oh, and the iPhone does things like gaming and tomfoolery in its stride, so even with extra software added, the A3100 just can’t keep up. Sorry, Motorola, you lose this round, too.

Winner: iPhone

3. How many opportunities for showing off to my mates will the phone give me?

The MotoSurf A3100 has precisely one weapon to give it a chance in this round: the camera, which comes in at 3 megapixels, with a flash, and is therefore, superior to the iPhone. Trouble is, though, we all already know that people tend to go ooh and aah more over the stupid but addictive bubble wrap game on the iPhone. And against that assault, having an extra megapixel doesn’t cut it, I’m afraid. Sorry, Moto, another loss.

Winner: iPhone

4. How easy is it to use the phone to cheat at pub quizzes?

You know, I apologise for having to harp no about this, but Motorola really haven’t done the MotoSurf A3100 any favours by only giving it that piddling little screen. Sure, you can get onto Google at a decent lick (with HSDPA), but with no QWERTY keyboard, it’s a pig to have to type in something on such a small virtual keyboard. Which you will need the dibber (sorry, stylus) for, since it’s so wee. Unfortunately, the iPhone takes this round, too.

Winner: iPhone

5. How good will I feel using it, and how GOOD will I look using it?

Things aren’t looking good for the Moto Mangler, but can it pull it back this round, to save itself from a whitewashing?

Er, no.

And yes, it comes back to the screen, again. Y’see, although you get a nice spangly front end, you are going to have to head on into Windows Mobile’s guts at some point (like when writing a text), and that’s when things get fiddly on the little screen. Windows Mobile needs a proper, big screen to reach its full potential (like you get on the HTC Touch HD), and I can guarantee you’ll get hacked off with the 2.8 incher on the A3100 after roughly half an hour of using it. And as for people’s perceptions of you, well, if iPhones make you look smug, Motorolas make you look tight…

Winner: iPhone

And the winner is…

Oh dear. This is Motorola’s great white hope. Oh dear, oh dear. Well, I reckon it’s fair to say that’s a categorical win by the iPhone. You know the annoying thing? The MotoSurf A3100 isn’t actually that bad a phone, but there’s a qualifier to that. It’s not a bad phone for 2007. This is a phone Moto should’ve released 2 years ago, and if they had, it would’ve been good. Hell, it would’ve been one of the best phones you could get, and they wouldn’t be in the position they’re in now. It’s just that at the start of 2009, it’s really, really not a good phone…

Join us for the next incredible instalment, where the iPhone goes up against the first touchscreen from the kings of email: the Blackberry Storm! Subscribe today, to make sure you don’t miss out on any of the action as the iPhone Killers go to war!

Speculation was rife before it’s official release: what would the first Android phone be like, what would it even be called? Would it be good enough to give the iPhone a kicking? Would it be pretty, would it be rich, que sera and so on…

Well, today, we have our answers, because today, the iPhone takes on the unique, and innovative, T-Mobile G1.

Ready? Fight!

1. How useful is it for doing actual work on?

This should be an interesting matchup, because it seems to me that both phones are more adept at tomfoolery than hard work. However, it has to be said that the T-Mobile G1 does have two massive advantages over the iPhone. First, it has a huge and really rather responsive QWERTY keyboard, a huge bonus for typing emails and the like on. Second is the tight-knit integration with GoogleMail, Gtalk, and other Google ‘cloud’ stuff. That alone gives it an edge that not even the iPhone, with downloadable Office apps (which the Android Marketplace will surely throw out, even if it hasn’t already) can’t match. The T-Mobile G1 takes the round.

Winner: T-Mobile G1

2. How good is the phone for mucking around and not doing any work on?

Ah now were into both phones’ area of expertise: tomfoolery. It seems like every step the iPhone takes, the T-Mobile G1 is right there behind it. So, the iPhone has downloadable games; so does the G1. The iPhone has iTunes; the G1 has the Amazon MP3 Store. And whilst the iPhone has multitouch, which does make for some really immersive gaming experiences, the G1 has Pacman... And so, for the first time ever in this series, we have a dead heat!

Winner: Draw!

3. How many opportunities for showing off to my mates will the phone give me?

The T-Mobile G1 may be a game-changer, and it may well have Pacman, but can it beat the stupid pointless fun of the iPhone’s bubble-wrap game, or its nose picking game, or any one of a wide selection of stupid bits of software that, whilst not life-changing or pointful in any way, will make your mates go “Bwahahahahahahaha!”

They’ll probably say the G1 looks a bit dull, as well.

Winner: iPhone

4. How easy is it to use the phone to cheat at pub quizzes?

Ooh, here we go, one I can answer quickly. Yes, both have superb web browsers, and yes, both have super-fast connections. But there’s a short mantra to explain why the iPhone isn’t winning this one, just like there was with the Nokia N97: G1, QWERTY, easier to type, win. What, you want more? Oh ok, the G1 also has a Google search bar on the home screen, making it even quicker to type in searches, and therefore, easier to cheat.

Winner: T-Mobile G1

5. How good will I feel using it, and how GOOD will I look using it?

Here we come down to it, the big finish, the big question over which is the nicest. And in truth, I reckon we’re going to be seeing our second ever draw of the series, because both phones are lovely to use, both have not-seen-anywhere-else (well, until the next android phone comes along) interfaces, both let you customise them with extra software, and both have huge glass screens. The perceptions of others won’t be massively dissimilar, either, since if you have an iPhone, people will think you’re annoyingly (and not justifiably) smug, and if you have a G1, people will think you’re a geek!

Winner: Draw!

And the winner is…

Now that we have to factor in draws to the equation, scoring this thing’s going to be a tiny bit harder. Hang on (invokes calculator, assumes a draw equals half a mark)… Oh, as it happens, it comes out at a really easy number. The winner is the T-Mobile G1, coming in as being 150% as good as the iPhone!

Join us for the next incredible instalment, where the iPhone finds itself pitted against the great white hope for Motorola’s comeback: the MotoSurf A3100! Subscribe today, to make sure you don’t miss out on any of the action as the iPhone Killers go to war!

Yep, it’s definitely been getting its backside handed to it on a regular basis, just lately…

Unfortunately, things don’t look massively hopeful today for it, either, because once again, it’s going up against a phone that’s already beaten it, although to be fair, it cheated with a bucket of water last time… Will the memory of its last beating make the iPhone falter? Or will it make a sudden comeback? Let’s find out as the iPhone takes on the Samsung Omnia.

1. How useful is it for doing actual work on?

In theory, this should be an easy win for the Samsung Omnia, since it has Office software built into it, from the get-go. Er, but it isn’t, for two reasons: 1/ the screen’s smaller than the iPhone, and therefore harder to use the virtual keyboard on and 2/ it hasn’t got a physical keyboard to make up for the smaller screen size. Ok, you can use the keyboard in landscape mode, but then your edit window goes all miniscule and harder to use. It’s also got a lower screen resolution, which isn’t a good thing. So, there’s no doubt that since you can download Office apps to the iPhone, its bigger screen hands it the win.

Winner: iPhone

2. How good is the phone for mucking around and not doing any work on?

Unlike its Windows Mobile cousin, the HTC Touch HD, the Samsung Omnia has another tough time in this round. Sure, you’ve got the 5 megapixel on the back, and you can get extra games and software for it, but that smaller screen goes against it once more. And unfortunately, the iPhone provides more opportunity for wasting time doing pointless and stupid things like making a pair of virtual breasts jiggle on screen. And unfortunately, jiggly breasts beat a 5 megapixel camera, meaning the iPhone takes this round.

Winner: iPhone

3. How many opportunities for showing off to my mates will the phone give me?

The Samsung Omnia has to win this round to stay in the game, but does it have what it takes to beat the iPhone in the ‘being a smug git’ challenge? Well, shockingly, yes, for pretty much the same reason as the Samsung Pixon: the TV-Out socket allows it to become the hub of a home entertainment centre, which easily beats the iPhone’s nose-picking game. Oh, and the premium build quality on the Samsung Omnia really does look much prettier, so it wins this round.

Winner: Samsung Omnia

4. How easy is it to use the phone to cheat at pub quizzes?

Ooh, a close one, since both phones are keyboard-less and rely on you typing stuff into Google via the screen, and the iPhone’s already shown it has a bigger keyboard, meaning you can type surreptitious things more quickly. However… once it’s typed in, it comes down to the speed of something else: the connection itself. And there, the Samsung Omnia takes the cake, its top HSDPA speed being double that of the iPhone. So, although it’ll take marginally more time to type stuff in to Google (and even that can be rectified by turning the phone into landscape mode, for a bigger keyboard), you’ll get your answers back quicker, which means that just by the skin of its teeth, the Samsung Omnia wins this round.

Winner: Samsung Omnia

5. How good will I feel using it, and how GOOD will I look using it?

Ooh, it’s all come down to the last round, in what may be the tensest showdown yet seen in the iPhone Killers series! But the question is, which one’s going to take the round and the match? Well, both phones score well on the usability scale, as both have fluid, whizzy interfaces, and feel brilliant to use. Both have exquisite design, although the brushed metal of the Samsung Omnia is more impressive-looking. And then there’s other people’s perceptions of you, when you use one, because there’s an unavoidable air of smugness that us lesser humans (what many iPhone users cal people without an iPhone) see around them, which does tend to foster a desire to punch them. Because of the simple fact it doesn’t make you want to knock the owner’s lights out, the Samsung Omnia has to win.

Winner: Samsung Omnia

And the winner is…

Ooh, it went right down to the wire, but in the end, the Samsung Omnia held on to its earlier victory, once again beating the iPhone into submission (and this time, it didn’t even cheat and use a bucket full of water, WWE style…). It was close, but in the end, the Cupertino Kid just couldn’t beat the Korean Killer. Let’s hope it gets itself back into shape soon, because next time, it’s going up against the open source-iness of the T-Mobile G1.

Join us for the next incredible instalment, where the iPhone takes on the might of the world’s biggest search engine, built into the T-Mobile G1! Subscribe today, to make sure you don’t miss out on any of the action as the iPhone Killers go to war!

Frankly, it’s going to need all its strength, today, because it’s taking on an old rival…

In the rematch of the century, the iPhone’s taking on a phone that’s already beaten it in the past, when we did a serious look at the two enemies. Yep, it’s that phone that my compadre Matthew swears by and can tell you about in loads of detail (whether you want him to or not). It’s going to be a helluva fight, because today, the iPhone takes on the awesome HTC Touch HD.

1. How useful is it for doing actual work on?

On paper, both phones should be good in this category. And, indeed, they are, since both will do emails brilliantly, both have big onscreen keyboards to make typing easier, and both have a superb web browser (Safari on the iPhone, Opera on the Touch HD). Of course, you can get Office software for the iPhone, from the App Store, which makes it stronger in this round. But the HTC Touch HD comes with the full version of Pocket Office straight out the box. And it syncs up with a PC much, much easier. So, there’s not really any competition, when it comes down to it…

Winner: HTC Touch HD

2. How good is the phone for mucking around and not doing any work on?

Hmmm, now here’s a tough one to call. On the one hand, you’ve got the Youtube player and multitouch gaming of the iPhone, along with the iTunes player. On the other, though, you’ve got the HTC Touch HD’s immense screen (which is absolutely perfect for watching movies on), a music player that can rival the one on the iPhone, and a Youtube player that is just as good as its rival. What it doesn’t have is as wide a selection of games as the iPhone, but the ones you can get (and there are still a lot) look awesome on that massive, massive screen, which kinda trumps anything the iPhone can do. So, on that basis, the Touch HD wins again!

Winner: HTC Touch HD

3. How many opportunities for showing off to my mates will the phone give me?

It has to be said, this category’s always been anybody’s game, and it’s come down to some weird things the winners have won on in the past, like the stereo speakers on the N97, or the TV-Out socket that makes the Samsung Pixon into a home cinema system. And it’s no different today, because one of the most pointless things the HTC Touch HD is also one of the things everyone wants to see it do in the flesh. The iPhone may have multitouch gaming, but the Touch HD has a weather app, with a 3D windscreen wiper that comes across the screen when it forecasts rain. However, even that’s not enough to beat the magic bubble-wrap-bursting game on the iPhone, which is infuriatingly addictive, so I’m afraid the iPhone just sneaks a win this round.

Winner: iPhone

4. How easy is it to use the phone to cheat at pub quizzes?

There’s a clear winner here, for much the same reason that the Nokia 5800 won this round in its match-up. Yes, both mobile phones have fast internet access, and a super slick, finger friendly browser, but when it comes down to it, the virtual keyboard on the HTC Touch HD is bigger, and therefore easier to type cheaty searches into Google with. Which means less time spent furtively typing under the table in the pub, and less chance of getting found out, lynched by the other patrons and thrown out into the street. So, for protecting your dignity and safety when you cheat at pub quizzes, the HTC Touch HD wins.

Winner: HTC Touch HD

5. How good will I feel using it, and how GOOD will I look using it?

So, can the iPhone make a triumphant comeback in this round, or is it going to be a 4-1 drubbing by the Touch HD? Well, having used both, I can categorically say that the nicest one to use is… the HTC Touch HD. Yes, people mither about Windows Mobile (constantly, as if they have nothing better to do), but the fact is, it does far more than the iPhone can, and that gives you a nice warm, tingly feeling inside. Add to that the fact that it has the whizzy, spangly TouchFLO 3D interface on top, which makes it so much more user friendly, and there’s really no contest. It may not have multitouch, but I honestly reckon the Touch HD is nicer to use. Oh and of course, you won’t have the downside of everyone except Apple fans thinking you’re overly smug…

Winner: HTC Touch HD

And the winner is…

Ooh, it’s turned out badly for the Cupertino Kid again, as the HTC Touch HD has given it another serious kicking, coming in as being 400% as good as the iPhone. And unfortunately for iPhone lovers, things don’t look to promising for its next match-up either, because it’s going to be taking on another phone that’s already beaten once in the past: the stunning Samsung Omnia.

Join us for the next incredible instalment, where the iPhone faces ANOTHER phone it’s already lost to: the sexy Samsung Omnia! Subscribe today, to make sure you don’t miss out on any of the action as the iPhone Killers go to war!

However, that might prove to be a bit difficult for it, because today, the iPhone takes on its toughest challenge yet…

After the massive interest people were showing in the 5800, it was only natural that Nokia would take their brand new touchscreen operating system, and build it into an Nseries phone. After all, the 5800 was only ever meant to sit in the mid-range. Another phone was destined to take up the top-end, and that phone, as if you hadn’t guessed, is the phenomenal Nokia N97.

Ohhhhhhhh yes folks, the iPhone really has its work cut out for it here…

1. How useful is it for doing actual work on?

The iPhone’s proved in various face-offs that it’s actually pretty good at being a useful tool for doing something productive, with an ace email client, a superb web browser, and downloadable Office software from the App Store. But the thing is… the Nokia N97 can do all that really well, too, which pretty much ruins any advantage the Apple wonderphone may have had. Add on the fact that the N97’s got a really rather spiffing QWERTY keyboard, and the fact that the screen opening at an angle lets you type on it like a mini-laptop, and it’s clear right away that the Finns are going to take this round…

Winner: Nokia N97

2. How good is the phone for mucking around and not doing any work on?

Ooh, again, the iPhone faces a tough challenge in an area it should dominate in, just like it did with the 5800. Only this time, it could potentially lose the round in an even bigger way. Sure, it has the App Store and iTunes, but the Nokia N97 has the Ovi Portal and N-Gage gaming, which evens things up nicely. Bu the Nokia N97 has a 16:9 widescreen for watching videos and movies. And double the memory of the biggest iPhone, to store more of your stuff. And it supports Flash, for viewing websites you just can’t view on the iPhone. And, therefore, it wins, hands down.

Winner: Nokia N97

3. How many opportunities for showing off to my mates will the phone give me?

Since the iPhone beat the 5800 in this round, it’d seem logical that it’s also going to beat the Nokia N97. But the thing is, y’see, it doesn’t. The iPhone may do gaming, but so does the Nokia N97, and what it lacks in multi-touch, it makes up for in sheer screen size for playing on. And whilst the iPhone has Youtube, so does the N97, and the N97 can do Flash, instead of the lower quality format mobile Youtube shows its vids in. So, it looks sharper, it has better sound through the stereo speakers, and I reckon it’s a prettier phone too. So, the N97 wins!

Winner: Nokia N97

4. How easy is it to use the phone to cheat at pub quizzes?

No contest, here. The iPhone may have a super-slick web browser, but so does the Nokia N97. The iPhone may now come with 3G data, but the N97’s got broadband-esque HSDPA. Admittedly, both have WiFi, but unless you know the landlord’s password, that’s not a great deal of use. But there’s one thing the iPhone hasn’t got, and that’s a honking great QWERTY keyboard. You can argue all you want about the merits of the onscreen keyboard, but the fact is, the physical keyboard on the Nokia N97 beats it in every possible way, making trying to find answers on Wiki much, much easier. The N97, once again, is victorious.

Winner: Nokia N97

5. How good will I feel using it, and how GOOD will I look using it?

Hmm, this last round is actually a tough one to call, because, whilst the Nokia N97 is a nicer looking phone, and whilst it has that superb keyboard, the new Symbian interface is, whilst being good, not as slick as the iPhone’s. But then, to mitigate against that, the Nokia N97 is a lot more powerful. It’s a very close match-up, making it really difficult to pick a winner, but the fact that the N97 doesn’t have the flicky-scrolly, inertial-scrolling menu-things isn’t good. And I do like flicky-scrolly, inertial-scrolling menu-things. So, grudgingly, I have to concede that the overall satisfaction of using the iPhone is marginally better.

Winner: iPhone, just

And the winner is…

Oh dear. Anyone who hoped for an iPhone win, after its defeat at the hands of the 5800 is disappointed yet again, as it turns out that Apple snobbery, as shown by every single Apple fan in existence is no match for the sheer power of the Nokia N97. Once again, the Cupertino Kid has to go home with its nose in a sling, as the N97 is (using the formula competitor score divided by iPhone score times 100) 400% as good as the iPhone. It’d better rest up again, because its next competitor is one I’ve blogged about before, in direct competition to the iPhone, and it’s one that soundly kicked its bottom last time: the HTC Touch HD…

Join us for the next incredible instalment, where the iPhone faces a phone it’s already lost to: the Windows Mobile-powered, massive-screened HTC Touch HD! Subscribe today, to make sure you don’t miss out on any of the action as the iPhone Killers go to war!

Well, actually, it was quoted as saying, “Hut, hut, hut, bring it on, raaarrgh,” but you get the idea.

Today, though, the iPhone’s really got its work cut out for it, because it’s taking on a brand new phone that’s already shipped a million handsets. Not bad when it only went on sale in the UK last Friday (yes, ok, it sold most of those overseas, since it got released in places like Russia before the end of 2008). It’s one of the most anticipated mobile phones of all-time, and everyone has been talking about since it was announced by Nokia…

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it’s time for its toughest fight yet, as the iPhone takes on the Nokia 5800!

1. How useful is it for doing actual work on?

Straight into the deep end, and we come to a category that’s particularly hard fought, for the simple reason that the iPhone and the Nokia 5800 are so evenly matched. The Nokia 5800 can view Office documents out of the box, but the iPhone lets you download the Quick Office suite to edit them on the phone, too. But then, the Nokia 5800 is based on Symbian, which also has a version of Office to download, so the iPhone doesn’t take that advantage, as it did with the LG Renoir. They both have email, they both have super fast internet access, and yes, they both have WiFi. In the end, it comes down to one tiny thing the Nokia 5800 does better: instant messaging, a tool that’s rapidly becoming a must-have for online-savvy workers, is included right out of the box, meaning the 5800 wins this round.

Winner: Nokia 5800

2. How good is the phone for mucking around and not doing any work on?

Traditionally, this was the iPhone’s easiest win, but with the Nokia 5800, things get a bit more interesting. Y’see, whilst the iPhone has its App Store, the Nokia 5800’s based on Symbian. And Symbian lets you add new software, too, like games, and you can get new music directly through Nokia’s Ovi Portal, just as easily as you can through iTunes. In the end, it’s going to come down to two factors: quality and cost. The iPhone may win on cost, when you use the standard version of the Nokia 5800, but if you use the Comes With Music version that’ll soon be available, the roles suddenly switch. So, ‘cost’ proves to be a tie. Which means it comes down to music quality, and in that area, the Nokia 5800 absolutely slaughters its opponent, for two reasons: 1/ the sound quality on the 5800 is superb and 2/ the sound quality on the iPhone, as on every iPod in history, is rubbish… it’s just that, as with the iPod, no Apple fans seem to have noticed this yet… Oh, and incidentally, you can edit any photos directly on the Nokia 5800 itself, without needing to stick them on your PC. Clever, that.

Winner: Nokia 5800

3. How many opportunities for showing off to my mates will the phone give me?

In theory, the Nokia 5800 should win this round. It has superbly smooth media playback, and the audio quality is second to none. In theory, it should kick the iPhone’s bottom across the park. In theory, anyway. In practice, however, it doesn’t, because annoyingly, things like a game where you pop bubble-wrap onscreen or pick a virtual nose is deemed cooler than a 3 megapixel camera, built-in sat-nav, and being able to show videos on the big screen with a TV-Out cable. Grudgingly, even I have to admit that iPhone wins this round.

Winner: iPhone

4. How easy is it to use the phone to cheat at pub quizzes?

A pretty even match-up, yet again, as both the Nokia 5800 and the iPhone have superb web browsers, both have super-fast internet access, and both have WiFi, if you know the pub landlord’s WiFi password (which I do… MWUHAHAHAHA). So, both, on the surface, appear to offer the same chance of being able to successfully cheat at pub quizzes. However, there’s one factor that I found to be important (I’ve got big hands, y’see), and that’s the size of the onscreen keyboard, with the 5800’s being bigger, and easier to type on. So, that makes it easier to Google the answer, or to text 118118 for the answer. Hence, the Nokia 5800 wins this round.

Winner: Nokia 5800

5. How good will I feel using it, and how GOOD will I look using it?

Ooh, a tough call, since both mobile phones are a bit lovely. However, one thing I found with the new Symbian Touch interface… it will get a bit finicky in places, and there are times when it’s going to royally hack you off. Oh, and it doesn’t have kinetic, inertial, ‘flicky finger’ scrolling, in menus, and so, loses marks on that. Sure, the Nokia 5800 is in no way going to attract people’s scorn and contempt as much as the iPhone does, but it really does miss those flicky finger motions. So, with that in mind, this round’s (narrowly) won by the iPhone.

Winner: iPhone

And the winner is…

The iPhone suffers its first loss of the season, and as the Nokia 5800 takes the victory! Since it won 3 rounds, and the iPhone only won 2 (and since you work out the percentage score in the table like this: opponent’s score, divided by iPhone’s score, times 100), that means the Nokia 5800 is, stunningly, 150% as good as the iPhone, or 50% better, if your prefer. And that means that we have our first phone to wear the title of ‘iPhone Killer‘.

Now the iPhone’s lost a match, it’d better go off and lick its wounds to get back in shape, because the next match-up is going to be a proper scrap. That’s because the next match-up will be against the jaw-dropping Nokia N97…

Join us for the next incredible instalment, where the iPhone faces its greatest challenge: Nokia’s brand new giant-killer, the Nokia N97, possibly one of the most powerful phones ever made! Subscribe today, to make sure you don’t miss out on all the action as the iPhone Killers go to war!

Quite…

Today, it’s the turn of the other 8 megapixel touchscreen phone that hails from Korea. This time, though, it’s from one of the biggest names in the world of consumer electronics. From the second biggest phone manufacturer in the world… ladies and gentlemen, say hello to the Samsung Pixon!

1. How useful is it for doing actual work on?

As with the Renoir, this is going to be a close run thing. Both the iPhone and the Samsung Pixon do things like email well, both have an onscreen QWERTY keyboard, and both have really fast internet access. However, the exact same things apply here as did with the LG: the iPhone does the internet and email better, unfortunately, and as I said in the LG fight, you can view and edit Office docs, whilst the Samsung Pixon can only view them. Until the Pixon gets that feature (if it even does), the iPhone wins this round.

Winner: iPhone

2. How good is the phone for mucking around and not doing any work on?

After losing one category, it’s time to see if the Samsung Pixon can do any better in the ‘mucking around’ category, and the answer is… no, unfortunately, for the same reasons as the Renoir. It does do some really cool stuff, with an astonishing camera, Java games and superb media support, but the App Store on the iPhone just beats all-comers. Unfortunately, that makes it 2-0 for Apple’s wonderkid…

Winner: iPhone

3. How many opportunities for showing off to my mates will the phone give me?

Now, here, the Samsung Pixon starts to come into its own. Oh, I’m not saying it’s going to be an easy fight, due to the sheer number of games and fun apps available through their App Store. But the Samsung Pixon has a massive trump card up its sleeve, and it’s to do with video… y’see, like the LG Renoir, the Pixon has a TV-Out socket, so you can plug it into your telly. But unlike the Renoir (and unlike any phones I can think of, off the top of my head, including the iPhone), the Samsung Pixon has SRS 5.1 Surround Sound. You find something that’ll impress your mates more than the fact your home cinema system’s centred around your mobile phone…

Winner: Samsung Pixon

4. How easy is it to use the phone to cheat at pub quizzes?

There’ll be a definite winner in this category for two reason, one of which is a serious one, one of which is completely stupid, but true. The serious reason: it comes back to the Safari browser in the iPhone, again, because it completely outclasses the Samsung Pixon. The silly but true reason: Samsung mobile phones always have this habit, without fail, of bleeping at you whenever you even look at them funny, and that’s gonna give the game away if you’re trying to sneakily cheat…

Winner: iPhone

5. How good will I feel using it, and how GOOD will I look using it?

And now, the final fight, and this one’s based purely on perceptions, because I’ll be perfectly honest, both mobile phones feel really rather lovely to use. The iPhone’s probably the slightly more fun to use, and therefore, slightly more rewarding, but the Samsung Pixon isn’t far behind. So it falls down to perceptions again, and the iPhone still has one big problem: its users, one of whom said that because I didn’t know the brand of my shoes, I was obviously not cool, and therefore didn’t deserve an iPhone. This inevitably makes non-Apple fans think Apple lovers are gits. The Samsung does not have this problem, and so, as with the Renoir, the Samsung Pixon is the winner.

Winner: Samsung Pixon

And the winner is…

The battle between the iPhone and the Renoir was almost a walk-over. The battle between the iPhone and the Samsung Pixon, however, was a proper stand up fight, with blood spilled, and teeth flying everywhere. The Korean heavyweight put up a spirited fight, but in the end, the victory goes once again to the iPhone. So, how does that leave our league table looking? Well, the Samsung Pixon is, based on how many rounds it won, a whopping 67% as good as the iPhone, taking it straight to the top of the leaderboard. I wouldn’t expect that to last for very long, though, because next week, the iPhone’s going up against two touchscreen phones from the biggest name in the business, starting with its hardest fight, yet, against the Nokia 5800…

Join us for the next incredible instalment, where we pit the iPhone against Nokia’s new hotness: the brand new, and much anticipated Nokia 5800! Subscribe today, to make sure you don’t miss out on all the action as the iPhone Killers go to war!

Hey, if Top Gear can test a Ford Fiesta by having a Corvette chase it round a shopping centre, I can test a phone on how easy it is to use a phone to cheat at pub quizzes…

Good, I’m glad we agree.

Stepping into the ring first, it’s the plucky contender from Korea, and the only phone on our list to be named after an Impressionist painter. Ladies and gentlemen… the LG Renoir.

1. How useful is it for doing actual work on?

On the face of it, this could be a close run contest, because for doing actual useful stuff, both the iPhone and the LG Renoir are fairly close in terms of functionality, out of the box. Both will do email, and both will let you access the internet. But the iPhone, unfortunately for the Korean kid, does it far better, with the Safari web browser far outclassing the one on the LG Renoir, thanks to its smooth scrolling and finger-friendly browsing. Oh, and to top it off, the iPhone App Store already has some software to let you edit Excel documents (the LG Renoir can only view them), and with more to come, such as editing Word docs, the iPhone looks set to stay right on top in this category.

Winner: iPhone

2. How good is the phone for mucking around and not doing any work on?

On paper, this one’s an easy win for the iPhone, with iTunes for music, the App Store giving you access to tons of games, and a dedicated Youtube client to instantly get access to videos of humorous cats (and presumably other things) on the go. Ah, but the real world isn’t written on paper, and in the real world… oh, alright, in the real world, the iPhone wins. The LG Renoir’s got a phenomenal camera, loads of shooting and video modes, its own Youtube browser, and support for DivX movies (for watching really good quality movies on the go), but the sheer breadth of opportunities for mucking around and being completely unproductive on the iPhone wins this round.

Winner: iPhone

3. How many opportunities for showing off to my mates will the phone give me?

Yet again, this is going to be a close-run thing, since the LG Renoir has that whoppingly massive 8 megapixel camera on the back; well, not just the camera but the extras that come inside the camera, like slow motion video, which I guarantee will have you and your mates recreating fight scenes from The Matrix. But then, the iPhone makes up for its lack of a decent camera in other ways, like the simple but frighteningly-addictive bubble-popping game, or Google Earth. Put it this way, if you pass an iPhone to your mates, you’ll be waiting longer to get it back than an LG Renoir, and so, the iPhone wins.

Winner: iPhone

4. How easy is it to use the phone to cheat at pub quizzes?

I told you this category was coming, didn’t I? Not that I ever would cheat at pub quizzes, or have done in the past. No sir, never ever. That said, though, the iPhone has a better chance of giving you the edge, thanks once again to the Safari web browser. However, you have to weigh that against the faster data speed on the LG Renoir, but to be honest, I’m afraid the iPhone wins this round, too.

Winner: iPhone

5. How good will I feel using it, and how GOOD will I look using it?

Ah, here we go, the last chance saloon for the LG Renoir, and it’s in with a fair chance of winning this round, for a very simple reason. In terms of usability, there’s not a massive difference between the two phones. There is a difference, with the iPhone’s multitouch surely playing a part, making it slightly superior, but the interface on the LG Renoir ain’t no slouch. The big difference comes in how others will perceive you. You see, you’re going to be received in one of three distinct ways:

- Apple lovers will know you’re cool for having an iPhone, and will say you’re one of them.
- People who really don’t like Apple will say you’re an insufferable git.
- Sensible people won’t care.

Rightly or wrongly, the perception of people who use iPhones is intensely polarised, far, far more than it ever could be with the LG Renoir. So, the phone that wins this round really depends. It could be the iPhone, but only if you’re prepared to accept that as well as camaraderie of Apple lovers, a lot of people will think you’re smug…

Winner: LG Renoir

And the winner is…

Well, if you’ve been totting up the scores, then you should know the answer to this one. The LG Renoir pulled a lot of ground back in the last category, but overall, I’m afraid the iPhone’s won it. So, let’s see where that puts it on our iPhone Killers league table (hint: right at the top, since it’s the first phone I’ve done). And remember, the percentage score is the ‘percentage as good as the iPhone’, and is really not that complicated to work out, so with that score, the LG Renoir is 25% as good as the iPhone.

Join us for the next thrilling instalment, where we pit the iPhone against Korea’s other big touchscreen phone: the almighty Samsung Pixon! Subscribe today, to make sure you don’t miss out on all the action as the iPhone Killers go to war!