Hmm, yep, that looks exactly like a Sony Ericsson Xperia Arc S, minus the “Ericsson” bit. I mean, it was always going to be one of their phones in the trailer, what with the film being made by Sony Pictures, I’m just surprised they’d leak a phone that’s not out yet. Still, it’s got people talking, so as far as marketing goes, it worked, I suppose. I do have a big problem with the trailer, though…

Y’see, it’s a trailer for Resident Evil: Retribution, the latest in the increasingly god-awful Resident Evil movie franchise, and my big problem with it is this: it bears precisely zero resemblance to Resident Evil. And I don’t just mean it bears zero resemblance to the games, no sirree. I mean it also bears no resemblance to the previous films in the same series.

Also, I have to confess to being confused, as I thought Resident Evil was about zombies. Yes, I know, the games went on to include different monsters that weren’t zombies (Las Plagas, innit), but you ask anyone what Resident Evil is about and I guarantee, guarantee, I tell ya, that they’ll say, “Zombies.”

Thus, why does this trailer come across more like an Underworld film (yet another franchise I don’t like), with the music from Tron: Legacy? That’s about as far removed from what constitutes a Resident Evil experience as I can imagine. Also, why does the film have characters in it that died in the first three? Also also, why is Patrick Stewart slumming it to do the voiceover? Also also also, I don’t like Milla Jovovich. Never have.

Still, new Xperia Arc might be coming, without the Sony Ericsson badge. That’s something, I suppose.

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So, I’m happy to report that, if tonight’s first episode was anything to go by, then Hustle is going to go out on a definite high note. Oh, and the producers did the thing I reckon should be standard in anything that has a clear antagonist, especially when said antagonist is a smarmy, condescending one, who needs a good punch up the chuffer: give the antagonist an iPhone…

What’s more, it appeared to be an iPhone 4S (or, at the very least, an iPhone 4, ‘cos it was that shape, not the rounded shape of the older models). I’m tempted to say it was a 4S, though, what with the episode involving Libyan gold, and being made recently enough to include a reference to Gaddafi’s death.

Oh, and naturally, what with the antagonist being a cross between Goldfinger and Shaft, it had a gold case. It’s those little things that help make so Hustle so satisfying.

As for the plot, well, it’d be a bit of a git move for me to tell you any spoilers, but suffice to say, it involves Libyan gold, one of these fake cash-for-gold companies, a black ops unit, and a German. And Mickey Bricks being awesome. And Ash “Three Socks” Morgan being even more awesome. And Kelly Adams being mind-bogglingly gorgeous, as she always is. Oh, and of course, there was the side plot with Eddie’s Bar, and a defaced photo of Ian Rush.

Basically, what I’m saying is watch Hustle, ‘cos this series is your last chance…

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‘Cos yes, there’s a mobile phone in Saints Row The Third. In fact, you use it as a way to contact your mates, get missions, and use its built-in GPS to find yer way round; this shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone, since GTA IV did more or less the same thing, and the Saints Row games are nothing if not brazen, right? Brilliantly, though, you can tell it’s an Android phone…

Granted, it’s not a real Android phone, so don’t go expecting to see anything like the HTC Sensation XE in there (although if I’m honest, it does look a bit like an HTC, in general design), but the softkeys under the screen are definitely taken straight from Android. Also, it has a Saintsbook app on it (and if I have to explain what that is taking the mickey out of, welcome to the internet). So therefore, it’s better than the phone in GTA IV.

It’s a better game than GTA IV, as well. Well, I reckon it is, anyway. Why? Because it’s off its bleedin’ head, that’s why. The very first tutorial mission had me robbing a bank with my crew, airlifting the bank vault out in a helicopter. Except, that failed, and we got thrown in t’chokey, only to get bailed out by another crime boss, and then taken aboard his private cargo plane, where we had a shoot-out, jumped out the back, had another shoot-out in mid-air, before skydiving through the now crashing plane, grabbing a second parachute on the way through, and catching the girl in mid-air, who I’d dropped so I could skydive through the plane in the first place.

As intros to games go, that was a good’n.

Also, I’m playing as a woman. With a man’s voice. Who celebrates by doing the air guitar gesture from Bill & Ted. Because why the hell not, that’s why…

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Ahhhhhhh

Well, naturally, because the series involved Rickey Gervais and Steve Merchant making Pilko’s life miserable, in real time, that mean the series included mobile phones (including a nice running joke in the episode in Alaska… more on that in a sec), and that means I can blog about it. So, let’s start with what phones ye can spot in the series…

Well, for starters, there was an iPhone. I don’t know which model it was, but I’m guessing it wasn’t an iPhone 4S. Oh, and I saw something that I thought was a Palm, at first, but on closer inspection (as in, I saw the front of the phone), I reckon it was actually a satellite phone. Should’ve been obvious, I suppose, what with them being in Alaska, and everything.

Yeah, sorry, I had a Pilkington moment, there.

And on that note, let’s talk about moments of comedy genius in the series, which was based on the list of things ye want do before ye die. Things other people want to do, specifically, and very definitely not what Karl wants to do. And from thence the humour arises. Moments like when he buys his girlfriend Suzanne a jar of mushy peas as a present. Or cooking cheese on toast, wi’ beans, for the king of an Africa tribe. Or losing his fear of snakes by hearing a king cobra fart. Or best of all (and I agreed with him on this one, bleedin’ hippies), going to a cuddle party, along Route 66. Or, obviously, the brilliance of Pilko’s inspired idiocy/genius meeting the lunacy of Japan.

And the running joke in Alaska? Gervais badgering Karl to get his prostate checked.

All in all, good present  from me sister, really.

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Oh, and thanks to Moriarty, we got our first instance of a mobile phone in the second series. I won’t spoil it, but it involved having Stayin’ Alive, by The Bee Gees, as a ringtone, and had me properly laughing. But that was just the start…

Y’see, in this first episode, Moriarty got upstaged completely, but a newcomer to the series: Irene Adler, played by the ever lovely Lara Pulver, from Spooks. Irene Adler should be a character well known to any fans of Sherlock Holmes, but here, she’s been updated, just like everything else. Now, she’s a… hmm, how best to say this, while keeping it safe for family viewing… she’s a lady who makes a living by giving a “recreational scolding” (best euphemism ever) to those who can afford it. And the plot revolves around compromising photos she has of herself with, er, a female member of the Royal Family (and the “Your Highness” didn’t leave much room for who it might be, incidentally)…

And the photos were stored on her phone, and now we get to the bit that added that extra touch of brilliance to the episode, from my point of view. What phone would a high-class professional dominant woman have? Why, a Vertu, naturally (a Vertu Constellation Quest, in fact, otherwise known as a Nokia smartphone in posh knickers)!

I also couldn’t help but marvel at how Moffat and Gatiss updated the original Sherlock Holmes novel, to revolve around, when you get down to it, text messaging, camera phones and PIN codes, of all things. That was a stroke of genius. Oh, and also, I’m not sure what phone Moriarty was using, but amusingly, it looked an awful lot like an HTC.

I can’t help but be amused by the fact that the greatest arch-nemesis in history has the same taste in phones as me, although if I’d had my way, he’d have been using an iPhone 4s, naturally.

So yeah. New year, new series of Sherlock, and it’s gotten off to one hell of a start. I suspect it may get even better, ‘cos it’s “The Hounds of Baskervilles“, next week, and the final episode is called “The Reichenbach Fall“. In the world of Sherlock Holmes, ye won’t find a name more ominous than that…

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Right, first things first; the phone that everyone calls the Del-Boy phone (the Motorola DynaTAC 8000X) is very clearly not the actual Del-Boy phone. In fact, I suspect the actual Del-Boy phone was nothing more than a prop knocked together by the BBC’s ever-innovative props department. It does look the part, though…

I’ll you something else, too; if HTC were to suddenly make a phone that has all the processing grunt of the HTC Sensation XE, but then put an antenna on it that pops out like a flick-knife (complete with snikt sound), I’d buy that little bleeder in a heartbeat.

Although, of course, they should make it look a bit sexier than that phone in the video, naturally. I’ve got used to phones looking as good as, ooh, say, the Sony Ericsson Xperia Arc S, so having one that looks like a massive TV remote (which is, in fact, what I suspect the props department built that phone out of, given how the joke plays out) would be a bit of a step backwards.

But still, I’m feeling all nostalgic, so you’re getting the post about the Del-Boy phone today. Mainly so I could avoid doing another rant about mobile patents, to be fair, but it’s also allowed me to tick of one of the long-standing things on my To-Do list.

So, win-win. You plonker etc…

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They’ve created a monster of a device… and it’s called the Samsung Galaxy Nexus!

The latest Google and Samsung collaborated handset, the Galaxy Nexus, has finally been released… and we can tell you we’re not in the least disappointed!

The first phone to run on the latest version of the Android operating system 4.0, also known by its pet name of Ice Cream Sandwich, the Nexus follows the Honeycomb approach and does away with hardware control buttons, instead favouring virtual software ones, located at the bottom of the screen. The new OS also has some brilliant camera quirks, such as the ability to automatically ‘stitch’ shots together to create a panoramic view, shoot a timelapse video and also zoom while recording.

A fantastic HD Super AMOLED display is another first for this device and it measures in at a whopping 4.65 inches and boasts a resolution of 720×1280. The curved effect of the Gorilla Glass screen also means there’s a super-fast response time of just 0.01ms… now that’s quick!

The Galaxy Nexus packs a 1.2GHz dual-core Cortex A9-based processor and 1GB RAM. The device harbours a 5 megapixel camera which is capable of shooting 1080p video, while the front-facing camera is 1.3 megapixels and can be used for video chat.

Dubbed ‘future-proof’, the Galaxy Nexus has both LTE and NFC onboard, and the battery size is a fearsome 1750mAh meaning the phone should last a good day or two before needing a recharge.

A budget iPhone could be among Apple’s forthcoming product launch items after listings appeared on Apple’s internal inventory.

9to5Mac reports that it has unearthed SKU codes (catalogue numbers) which point to a revamped iPhone4 handset. Apparently the numbers in question differ only slightly from the SKU code used for the original iPhone4, meaning we could potentially be overly-excited about nothing more than a slight modification of the existing latest Apple model.

It could also signify that a budget version of the iconic handset is due to launch, alongside the more premium product that is the iPhone 5… all will be revealed next week when Apple takes the world by storm, yet again!

Yes, last week’s episode set the unbelievability stakes pretty high, right off the bat, which I say is brilliant. For starters, there’s the new headmaster, and what a back-story…

Basically, it involved the brusque Scot (played, humorously, by Paul Atreides from the remake of Dune) getting stabbed by someone, and the kid what did it getting let off in court. And, er, at the end of the episode confronting him, and saying he’ll pay, and all that, thus neatly setting up the story arc for the series.

And yes, it had mobile phones in the episode, otherwise I wouldn’t be talking about it. I didn’t spot the exact model, but the one Grantly was using looked like it had a bit of a Samsung vibe to it. Or possibly Nokia. It was a phone, anyway, so yes.

That wasn’t the real shark-jumping moment, though. No, that moment was the kids whose nan died at the start of the episode, and then, they proceeded to not tell anyone (so social workers didn’t send them back to their dad), while keeping the body in the bedroom, and being caught out as they were going to bury her in the garden, like a dead goldfish. Wow. Just wow.

I say again, it’s like Grange Hill, but mental. I can’t wait to see what lunacy they come up with this week…

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Also, Guy of Gisborne isn’t in this series, what with his character being dead, and everything. This can only be a positive thing, because Richard Armitage gets right up my nose. Maybe it’s that monotonous yet whiny voice, or maybe the fact he looks like he’s wearing eyeliner 24/7, or maybe it’s because the man cannot act, but I can’t stand him. So, good riddance, says I! But anyway, what about mobile phones?

Ah well, y’see, this is why I’m in a good mood. Y’see, this is the first Famous Phones post where I’ve been able to include tablets. Yay! I swear, every bleeder had one, from the Russian KGB agents (look, I know they’re FSB, but I refuse to call them that, when I can get away with calling them KGB, because I’m old school Cold War, like Harry), to everyone within MI5.

Only the Ruskies outclassed us Brits, ‘cos they were using Android tablets, and we were using iPads. Well, they would’ve outclassed us if it had been a modern tablet like the HTC Flyer or the Motorola Xoom, but they were using the Samsung Galaxy Tab. Still, beggars can’t be choosers, eh?

Also, we saw some potential shark-jumping technology, in the software that analyses people’s walking, to spot people on CCTV cameras, with the key difference being this: that technology actually exist! Well, it sort of exists, anyway; airports are genuinely looking at it, to spot terrorists. Spooks took it a bit further than is currently possible, but it’s a damn sight more plausible than the magic, physics-defying bullet from last series.

Also, I feel I should reiterate that Richard Armitage isn’t in it any more. I cannot say how much better that makes me feel about the series…

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